


See me

by Tainteddagger



Category: Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Bipolar Disorder, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-12
Updated: 2019-06-29
Packaged: 2020-05-02 01:36:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19189270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tainteddagger/pseuds/Tainteddagger
Summary: A hizzie/posie high school au that I'm pretty sure has already been done for:Hope and Lizzie have always had a petty rivalry for since the 6th grade. At the end of Junior year Lizzie crossed a line. And Hope was prepared to hate her for it. But after summer Lizzie isn't quite like herself and Hope seems like the only person that wants to find out why.Lizzie was diagnosed with bipolar disorder over the summer and now has to start senior year, adjusting to meds and just feeling out of place.Posie the sure bet couple broke up over the summer will they find their way back to eachother?





	1. (not so) promising new beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to expand on Lizzie's character on how I think she'd deal with her disorder and how it effects her. Plus Twitter made me ship hizzie. So here we are I guess. I hope I do both justice.

Caroline Forbes unlocked the door to an unnervingly quiet Saltzman residence. Leaving her suitcase and bags at the door.  
  
Though it was still very early for teenagers to be awake, her daughters were always particularly energetic on the first day of a new school year. Lizzie would usually be dramatically rearranging the outfit she'd planned on wearing weeks prior. Josie would be there trying to quell the tornado tearing thru their respective rooms.  
  
But at 5 AM there was no movement to be detected from upstairs, no faint light creeping into the hallway from either of the twins rooms. She creeped up the stairs not wanting to startle anyone by being loud. She stuck her head into Josie's room first since it was closest to her.  
  
Thankfully the nightlight in the room, let her distinguish her daughters on the bed entangled together. They both seemed to be in a fitful sleep. Josie's eyebrows were creased and face tense as she held on to Lizzie. Caroline couldn't see Lizzie's since she had her face buried in Josie's shoulder. But her fists were clenched tightly around Josie night shirt. Gripping on to her like a lifeline.  
  
Caroline was grateful the twins had eachother. But she was filled with worry on the toll this diagnosis would take and was already taking on her babies.  
  
Moving from Josie's room she peaked into Lizzie's room. She switched on the light and found a warzone. Everything in disarray. Her bedding ripped and curtains laying on the floor. A room that was usually poised and pristine, even after the rush and mess of finding the perfect outfit. Lizzie, with the help of Josie, always left her room like it was never a mess to begin with.  
  
Last night had been worse than she thought, Caroline concluded. She expected it to be bad. Lizzie's sobbing call pleading to come stay with her last night was an indication, but she didn't think the fall out was this bad. Her heart ached for her baby.  
  
Her decision to move back into the Saltzman residence was solidified. Alaric clearly was out of his depth and the twins needed her close. But they needed stability and she and Alaric needed to be a united front.  
  
She shut the door once more and continued to Alaric's room not surprised to find it empty. He probably fell asleep in his study going over lesson plans. She made her downstairs to start coffee and talk with Alaric. Pausing a moment at one of their most recent family photos just a year prior. The difference a year made she wasn't sure she recognized anyone in the photo.  
  
"We'll get back to this." She swore to herself and everyone else.  
\---  
Caroline decided it was best to start coffee before rousing the grump passed out at his desk. He was definitely going to have a stiff neck and be a pain in the ass for the rest of the day. Caroline pitied the students of Salvatore on their first day.  
  
After starting the coffee she woke him up sending him to get showered and meet her in the kitchen after. While she waited she made a mental note of all the things that was needed in the kitchen. She could go grocery shopping while the girl's were at school. And after she'd take Lizzie to her appointment with Emma. Then have some time with both of the girls after the session.  
  
"What are you doing here at..5:30 in the morning Caroline?" Alaric questioned entering the kitchen. He took a seat at the island where the steaming cup was placed for him.  
  
"I've decided I'm moving back in." She said determinedly, letting him know that there wasn't much room for discussion.  
  
"Because of last night? Caroline I have it under control."  
  
"No I've been thinking about it for awhile now. Since Stefan..I've wanted to be with the girls more often again. And with all due respect you didn't have last night under control."  
  
"You could spend more time with them at your house." He challenged not taking kindly to her call out.  
  
"The girls, specifically Lizzie needs us to be a united front. They both also need stability during their senior year, so me moving in makes sense." She explained.  
  
"This is all seems like you don't have trust in how I'm handling my daughters. I'd really appreciate if you were honest about your reason." Alaric doubled down on trying to challenge her.  
  
"First off they're also _my_ daughters, but I'll let it slide because you seem stressed. Secondly I was being honest and you know I'm right. If you'd leave your ego out of things that concern the girls I'd prefer it." Caroline said flatly not having the patience to go back and forth with him.  
  
"I'm sorry you're right." He said sighing and admitting to himself that he definitely needed the help.  
  
"I already knew that. I'm going to take care of the girls after school today by the way. So what really happened last night?"  
  
Alaric informed over him telling Lizzie she wouldn't be able to do cheerleading this year. Which resulted in her refusing to take her medication and took Josie calming her down to get her to drink it. And then them disappearing into her room for the rest of the night.  
  
"So you didn't check Lizzie's room?"  
  
"No? She was in Josie's room for the rest of the night." Alaric replied confused.  
  
Caroline sent up a little prayer thankful he hadn't. "Ok so promise me you won't today-"  
  
"Why not-"  
  
"Just promise me you won't."she implored.  
  
"Fine I don't want to know." He agreed.  
\---  
Upstairs Josie started to stir, strands of Lizzie's hair tickling her. The faint buzzing of her phone letting her know it was 6 AM.  
  
It was the first day of their senior year. Josie usually liked the first day of the school year. The fresh feeling of starting over, new classes, new goals and accomplishments. This year however she was filled with an anxious dread. It was going to be a hard day for both her and Lizzie. Lizzie would have to face school life after diagnosis and she'd have to face life post break up with Penelope. Josie just knew today was going to suck. She could feel it.  
  
"Liz..Liz c'mon wake up."  
  
"Five more minutes Jo." Lizzie just tightened her hold on her shirt and took one of her legs hostage.  
  
Josie thought it was adorable and it reminded her of better times. It also made her happy to see the innocent pout on Lizzie's face. She started stroking the newly brunette locks soothingly. She'd never really loved the blonde look, the brunette made Lizzie look softer and fit her better.  
  
"Lizzie we need to get up and get ready."  
  
"I don't want to." She mumbled petulantly.  
  
"We have to sadly."  
  
Lizzie lethargically untangled herself from Josie. And got up from the bed. Stretching her limbs and cracking her back. Josie got up and got her stuff ready to shower.  
  
"I'll take the bathroom first ok?" Lizzie nodded in agreement.  
  
As Josie left Lizzie grabbed her mood journal and decided to write down how she was feeling compared to the night prior. She was trying to get into habit of keeping track of it, because it does offer her a reflective view of things. Even if it was hard to read back certain thoughts and feelings.  
  
She let her fingers roam over the leather littered with constellations on it's cover with a quote 'you'll always be you' at the bottom. Josie had gotten it for her after she saw how cringy and superficial the mood journals were in the store. Opening it up to the last page she wrote on she reread last night's thoughts.  
  
_I hate this. I hate that this stupid disease is taking over my life. I also hate that my dad is using this as an excuse to control me. He has no right to tell me I can't cheer this year._  
  
_That was the only thing I was looking forward to and now I've been robbed from even that, because I'm apparently to fucking crazy to do something I've been doing since middle school!_  
  
_I hate this! I hate my dad's stupid control freak tendencies. I hate myself._  
  
"Wow last night got dark." Lizzie mumbled as she read her feelings back.  
  
_I'm feeling a mix of emotions all amplified to the point that it feels like white noise right now. I can't really distinguish them from eachother._  
  
_I'm regretful for the way I reacted. I'm still angry about his decision but I regret my outburst._  
  
_Speaking of which I trashed my room. I ripped my sheets a part because they were close in shade to the antidepressant my dad was trying to force down my throat. (I just remembered I threatened not to take my meds..that's going to be another lecture in the morning). I also tried pulling down the curtains because they were that hideous pink as well._  
  
_My room doesn't feel like my own, or maybe I'm the one that is now out of place within it. I'm sleeping in Jo's room because it feels better. I think mostly because she's the only thing that remained consistent throughout all of this. Anyway I'm going to try to sleep off the buzzing and irritability_.  
  
Lizzie was angry at herself for the things that went wrong last night. Specially threatening not to take her medication. The helplessness that came over her father was definitely something she never wanted to be the cause of, not intentionally.  
  
She decided to add a quick paragraph before Josie got out the bathroom.  
  
_I successfully slept off the buzzing. It probably had more to do with Josie than the medication though. I woke up anxious because I know I need to talk to my parents about last night._  
  
_I'm also extremely anxious about today. The first day of senior year. I haven't seen anyone from class all summer, not since the end of the year bash. Hopefully everything about that night has been forgotten by everyone and I won't be haunted about the things I did during a manic episode._  
  
Lizzie closed the journal and set it down on the dresser. She felt a little calmer having put her thoughts to paper. She grabbed one of Josie's grey sweaters to wear over a button up. She doused it with enough of her perfume she'd sure it would last her thru the day.  
  
"What are you doing?" Josie questioned as she entered the room again.  
  
"I took your sweater and was putting perfume on it?" Lizzie in a duh tone.  
  
"I can see that, but why?"  
  
"It's comforting." Was all Lizzie offered up in reply, shrugging her shoulders.  
  
Josie smiled softly at her. It was nice to know she could be a support to Lizzie, even if she couldn't be physically present at all times.  
  
"So hair up or down?"  
  
"Mhm down with slightly curled ends." Lizzie suggested as they appraised eachother in the vanity.  
\---  
After getting ready in somewhat matching outfits, Josie in a navy blue sweater and high tops and Lizzie in the grey sweater and ankle boots. They headed downstairs.  
  
"Mom?" They asked shocked when they saw Caroline at the stove preparing breakfast.  
  
Caroline felt happiness bloom in her chest at the underlying happy tone of their voice. Just a few months ago they were apprehensive in using the term around her. But they moved forward and were comfortable using it again.  
  
"Morning babies, have a seat breakfast is almost ready."  
  
"All right mom. Morning dad."  
  
"Morning girls." Alaric replied.  
  
"So big day today. I swear I was just dropping you off on your first day of kindergarten." Caroline gushed as she placed a hearty breakfast in front them.  
  
"Gross mom, if you're going to start breaking out the throwback pictures I'll head to school now." Lizzie teased.  
  
"I'm allowed to be emotional about my kids growing up. Time sure did fly and now you're all grown up and i-..I need a moment." Caroline dramatically wiped fake tears from her eyes and pretended to be choked.  
  
Her dramatic portrayal earned laughs and big smiles from everyone seated at the island.  
  
"So you came all the way here to make us breakfast and a show? Not that I'm complaining, the food is good." Josie questioned.  
  
"Actually girls I've decided to move back in. We think it'll be good for your senior year and I missed having you guys around all the time." Caroline told them cautious of Lizzie's reaction.  
  
"Cool." Josie said happily.  
  
"So the warden went out and got reinforcements?" Lizzie questioned accusingly.  
  
"Caroline showed up here with her suitcase I was unaware, but I support it." Alaric answered.  
  
"C'mon Liz having both parentals in one place is better." Josie nudged her.  
  
"You're right. I'm happy you're here mom."  
  
They ate in silence. The twins clearing their plates quickly. And insisting they do the dishes.  
  
"All right family I'm off to school. I need to clean out my cheer locker and hand Cheryl the reigns." Lizzie said slightly bitter. She'd accepted it but she was still unhappy.  
  
"Uh about that. Your mom and I, have come to the conclusion that you shouldn't drive yet until you're fully adjusted to your meds and are no longer experiencing side effects." Alaric explained calmly, hoping to not set her off this morning.  
  
Josie grabbed on to her hand, letting her grip it as tightly as she needed. "Breathe." She whispered to her. And just like that Lizzie felt centered again before she lost herself in her emotions.  
  
"Ok that's fine." She spoke thru clenched teeth. She understood why they were concerned but she didn't have to like it.  
  
She made a show of taking her medication just to reaffirm, she didn't like their decision. She stuck out her tongue to prove she swallowed.  
  
"How am I going to get to school? I'm definitely not starting senior year seen in your jalopy!"  
  
"A decrepit automobile. It's our word of the day." Josie supplied helpfully to their parents that stared at Lizzie in confusion.  
  
"My car is not decrepit." Alaric grumbled to himself.  
  
"You can get a ride with Josie and Penelope for today and then maybe Josie can drive you guys until further notice." Caroline offered as a solution.  
  
"Ew I'd rather walk."  
  
"Uhm actually me and Penelope broke up."  
  
Josie flinched at the chorus of concern that flew her way. She felt her resolve slipping because it was the first time she'd acknowledged the relationship being over. She was fighting to hold back tears. She didn't want to breakdown in front of her family.  
  
Lizzie's hand squeezed hers once again and she felt anchored once more. She just shrugged off their concern and gave them a vague answer about it happening over the summer.  
  
"Ok how about this today I drop you guys off and as of tomorrow Josie drives to school?" Caroline offered. Which earned her two nods in agreement.  
  
"Glad that's settled. I'm off to the school and be a principal. See you later girls, I love you."  
\---  
On the other side of town a cranky Hope Mikaelson roused from slumber. She angrily turned off the blaring alarm. Checking her phone she saw she got a few messages.  
  
Two being from broadcasts from the school and fencing team which she promptly ignored. One from Penelope asking to be picked up because her car was in the shop. She shoots a quick text informing her she'd be there.  
  
Hope groaned and went about her morning routine, she definitely wasn't looking forward to starting school once more. After a long summer away from Mystic Falls and all it's inhabitants, she wasn't keen on going back to school.  
  
"At least today is the start of the last year of high school." She mumbled trying to find some positivity in it all.  
  
She quickly went thru her morning routine quickly settling on an outfit she felt comfortable in and was intimidating enough that would stop some ego inflated freshman from approaching her. She was ready in record time, she quickly made her way downstairs to find her aunts making out in against the fridge.  
  
"Ugh gross. It's literally too early for that." She accompanied her statement with dramatic sound effects of her dry heaving.  
  
Freya and Keelin slowly pulled apart giggling at the teen's antics. Freya went back to preparing breakfast and Keelin moved to have a seat at the island where she was going over some case files. She patted the seat next to hers, inviting Hope to join her.  
  
"It's never too early for that whelp, you'll learn that when you fall in love." She teased ruffling Hope's hair as she sat down.  
  
Hope wondered if it was true. Would she ever be as carefree and in love as her aunts were? She thought she had fallen in love last year. But looking back at it her feelings for Landon were barely an ember compared to the forest fire like love she'd grew up watching between her parents and then her aunts. She really thought she loved him and maybe she did (still might) to some extent, but after this summer she was sure she was never truly in love with him.  
  
"Earth to pup. What you thinking about so hard?" Keelin asked pulling her back to the present.  
  
"Probably first day jitters." Freya teased setting down a stack of pancakes in front of them.  
  
"I'm not nervous. Just want to get senior year over with." Hope grumbled as she started cutting into her pancakes.  
  
"Don't rush it kid. You can't get these years back enjoy your time."  
  
"Only people that peaked in high school think that aunt Freya." Hope replied.  
  
"I for one didn't peak in high school, the fact that I got a hot wife can attest to that. However your senior year is the time to enjoy yourself. There's no time quite like it." Keelin added between bites of her breakfast. Her reply earned laughs from the two Mikaelsons. And loving kiss on the cheek from Freya.  
  
"Lin I thought we agreed no work during meals." Freya chided.  
  
"It's a new patient baby and it's so complicated, I'm sorry. I'll wrap it up." Keelin closed the file and pushed it away.  
  
"Thanks for breakfast and the old people advice but I'm off to school."  
  
"Already?"  
  
"I have to pick up Penelope, catch up before I lose her to Josie's lips. Plus Mr. Saltzman always does that corny welcome to the new year beginning assembly and everyday is a promising new beginning, haza! There's only so many times I can hear that speech." Hope explained to them. As she grabbed her stuff to leave.  
  
"Carpe diem and all that pup." Keelin waved her off.  
  
"Have a great first day Jailbird. Make good choices!" Freya yelled after her.  
  
Freya watched thru the window as Hope got into her car and left.  
  
"We raised her right, right?" She questioned.  
  
"We raised a kick ass young woman baby. There's no doubt about that." Keelin reassured her, embracing her from behind a kissing her shoulders.  
\---  
Hope arrived at Penelope's house in no time seeing as she lived just a few streets down. Deciding on going in to say hi to Mrs. Park, so she could be the 'respectful little shit' Keelin raised her to be. The moment the door opened she was assaulted with a bone crushing hug.  
  
"I've missed seeing your face around here Hope. It's good to see you."  
  
"Morning Mrs. Park. How are you this morning?"  
  
Hope was slightly uncomfortable, as the older woman seemed to try and decipher everything that possibly could've changed with her over the summer. There was nothing new about her, Hope chalked it up to it being a mom thing.  
  
"God if only Penelope was as polite as you. I'm doing well thank you Hope. Penelope is upstairs with a friend head on up."  
  
Offering a parting smile, she headed upstairs to Penelope's room. As she got closer, she heard a soft moan. Swallowing the urge to groan in annoyance. She decided to crash the posie make out session by scaring them apart. Creeping slowly to the cracked door, she peeped and could've only really see Penelope lying on who she assumed Josie.  
  
"Aahh!" She screamed scaring the pair on the bed.  
  
Penelope turned so quickly she fell off the bed with a loud thump. Which caused Hope to bust out laughing at her misfortune.  
  
"Maybe if you'd detach yourself from Josie's lips you'd be more aware of your surroundings." She taunted Penelope, wiping tears from her eyes, still laughing at them.  
  
"Uh Hope.." Penelope said awkwardly. Just as the other occupant spoke up just as awkward.  
  
"Uhm hi.."  
  
"Oh Hey Josie...you're not Josie."  
  
Hope sobered up quickly. Going from the unknown brunette to Penelope. The awkward silence stretched out for a solid minute. And as the seconds ticked by Hope felt her anger rise.  
  
"Sorry do you mind if I borrow Penelope for a bit uh.." she trailed off not knowing the girl's name.  
  
"Davina. And I don't." She filled in the blank.  
  
Nodding in thanks Hope left the room to wait on Penelope. Penelope followed soon behind. Closing the door behind her.  
  
"You're cheating on Josie?!" Hope whispered yelled. Going directly on the attack.  
  
" _I would never do that_. What the hell Hope?" Penelope asked wounded that her friend would think she'd be capable of doing that.  
  
"Then explain Davina."  
  
"Josie dumped me ok?"  
  
Hope was dumbstruck yet again. Josie would never do that. Penelope and Josie not being together just didn't make any sense to her. They were madly in love with eachother, not forest fire strong but they definitely had the potential to be.  
  
"What? When?" She asked dumbly.  
  
"Three weeks after you left." Penelope shrugged.  
  
"Why didn't you tell me?"  
  
"You literally told us you'd be in Peru with no internet connection. I knew you didn't want to be bothered so I didn't." Penelope said with some bite.  
  
And she wasn't entirely wrong. Hope felt like an asshole for not being there for her closest friend. She could see the hurt in Penelope's eyes, she wasn't dealing with the break up well.  
  
"We'll talk about this later. I'll be in the car waiting for you and Dani.."  
  
"Davina."  
  
"Yeah her."  
  
Hope walked past her heading downstairs. She needed some fresh air. But before she could make her way out of the house, Penelope's mom motioned for her to come into the kitchen.  
  
"I know this is a lot to ask. But can you give these to Josie? It's tradition and well I made them and I don't want them to go to waste. And these are for you." She explained as she handed Hope a container with cookies. And a separate one for herself.  
  
Hope promised her she'd get them to her. And went to sit in her car. She quickly hid the cookies in her bag so it doesn't trigger Penelope. She knew it had been a tradition since they were in the 7th grade. Baking cookies for the first day of school.  
  
The fact that her mom still baked it, was a sign that no one was taking the break up well. She wondered how bad Penelope took it. Judging by the fact she already bounced back with a new girl not well at all.  
  
"There goes the dream of a drama free year."  
  
She wondered what brought Josie to the decision to break up with Penelope. Josie had been in love with her since the sixth grade. She would never walk away without a reason. However it would be wrong to put the blame solely on Pen. Josie was the apple of her eye.  
  
"Maybe Lizzie finally got between them." Hope mused out loud.  
  
She hadn't thought about the blonde Saltzman in awhile. Awhile meaning, it was more like the two days since they got back from New Orleans. The taller Saltzman had been haunting her thoughts since the incident that led to her and Landon breaking up.  
  
The first week of her summer she'd spend a lot of time thinking up ways she could get the blonde back. Something as equally terrible. The blonde had crossed a line that she never thought their petty rivalry ever would. And Hope wanted to get even. Well she did, she wasn't sure if she did anymore. At the start of the second week she'd received a text from the blonde apologizing.  
  
Lizzie Saltzman did not do apologies. Alaric couldn't even force her to. The only person Hope had ever seen her sincerely try to apologize to was Josie, and even then she seldom actually used the words I'm sorry. So Hope was utterly confused when she woke up to a text from her doing just that.  
  
I went to far. I'm sorry Hope.  
  
Hope hadn't stopped thinking about that text since. Questioning if Lizzie meant it, if it was Josie that sent the text, was it just a ploy to rub salt into her wounds. Why would she apologize, sure she crossed a line, but she'd never shown remorse, ever. It left Hope perplexed.  
  
"Are you high?" Penelope asked scaring her. She hadn't noticed the two girls make their way into her car.  
  
"It's barely 7:30."  
  
"You're the one staring into space like you're trying to solve quantum physics."  
  
Hope couldn't help but chuckle. She'd probably have better luck doing that, than ever figuring out Lizzie Saltzman.  
  
"C'mon let's get senior year over with."  
  
  



	2. waffles and lingering feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meet our boys and mostly Josie heavy. Fetus posie moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter was kind of hard to get thru because I know where I want it to go but it felt like too much filler so I had to rewrite. But I'm happy with how it turned out.

Caroline waited a good five minutes after Alaric left to broach the subject.   
  
"Josie why didn't you tell us about you and Penelope breaking up?"   
  
Suddenly Josie found the pattern in the marble countertop extremely interesting. She didn't know what to say. On one hand she wanted to have a proper breakdown and cry about the actual reason they broke up and how she truly felt about it. On the other she didn't want Lizzie to blame herself for their break up. She also didn't have the words to verbalize her heartbreak, she still hadn't sat down to process it yet.   
  
She decided to lie and suppress her feelings. Because it seemed infinitely better than being barraged with questions. Questions that would surely lead her to starting her senior year looking like she'd had an allergic reaction of some sorts.   
  
"It wasn't a big deal." She said shrugging her shoulders. She didn't meet Caroline's eyes in fear that she'd be able to tell that she was lying.   
  
"Of course it was, is. You and Penelope have been attached to eachother since the sixth grade."   
  
Josie wanted to scream that she knew that better than anyone. She wanted to scream that she broke Penelope's heart, because she felt Penelope deserved better. Someone that made her feel like a priority. She wanted to scream for the past month and a half it was the loneliest she'd ever felt, because Penelope was no longer there to make her express her feelings.   
  
But she didn't. She couldn't. She ended it and shattered both of their hearts, in hopes that she'd save Penelope from more pain in the long run. She made her choice and now she'd have to bear the pain.   
  
"It really wasn't mom. We're high school students these things happen. Plus we mutually agreed to be friends after some of the awkwardness wears off." On some level it scared Josie how smoothly the lie rolled off the tongue. But she was used to hiding things from her family by now, so it wasn't surprising.  
  
Caroline studied her daughter for a beat. Trying to uncover if there was anything untrue to the statement. She felt it was odd with how calm Josie was. Break ups were intense at that age from what she remembered, all tears and ice cream. And they were in love with a maturity far beyond their years, shouldn't there have been a bigger blow up?   
  
But Josie was always reserved opposed to Lizzie's outwardly form of expression. So maybe she'd been expecting a Lizzie level meltdown, when it just wasn't Josie's style to handle things.   
  
Her reasoning was probably one of the reasons Josie was so good at suppressing. It wasn't that she wasn't outwardly expressive, she just wasn't as loud as Lizzie. So she'd always be overlooked because her emotions weren't deemed loud enough to warrant attention. She was ignored because she'd never been deemed nuclear. Her parents deemed her the good child, the mature one beyond her years and they just stopped checking. So she stopped trying to get their attention.  
  
"Ok. I'm glad you guys will remain friends. Plus there's so much more out there, maybe it's for the best." Was the response Caroline settled on. Trying to be as encouraging as possible.   
  
Josie tried her best not to grimace when she said there was more out there. She succeeded sort of.   
  
"It definitely was for the best." She grumbled to herself as her mom switched gears to telling them about her plans for the day. She didn't notice Lizzie observing her silently.   
\---   
Standing in the school parking lot, Hope had never felt more disgusted. She watched on in fascinated revoltion as Penelope and Davina were practically eating each other's faces. In public. On school property. And Penelope 'I treat my girl with respect and my relationship is not something for hormonal roid heads to gawk at' Park was being a very willing participant. It was unnerving.   
  
"Do you guys not need to breathe?" She asked sarcastically.   
  
The only reply she received was the sounds of lips smacking. Which made her like this Davina a little less, not that she had much of an interaction with her since the awkward meet and greet earlier that morning. So she was aware she was being judgmental and highly biased, but Josie would never put her through such a thing. Which automatically made Davina, Penelope's worst girlfriend.   
  
She was soon saved by a truck pulling up next to her jeep followed by a motorcycle being parked right next to it. She recognized the truck as Rafael's instantly, they had all spent many nights in the bed of that truck.   
  
M.G jumped out the passenger side first, followed by Kaleb from the backseat. Hope took in the changed that happened over the summer. Kaleb's dreads were longer, but as neat as ever. M.G's curls were vibrant and bouncy, reminded Hope of that animated movie that Rihanna voiced he insisted they watch. She couldn't remember much of the movie, only that she was obsessed with the curls animation and Landon sniffled the whole second act. But not much has changed with the dynamic duo.   
  
"Do my eyes deceive me? Has the prodigal daughter return to bless us once more?" Kaleb asked dramatically in a weird accent, Hope couldn't place.   
  
"I gotta be honest I missed your dramatic flair over the summer." She greeted warmly.  
  
"She said she missed me first M. The ladies truly do love me best." Kaleb teased ruffling the meticulously combed curls.   
  
"Would you stop ruining perfection." M.G whined as both Kaleb and Hope laughed watching him pout and try to fix it.   
  
Hope turned to see why Rafael hadn't joined on them, she prayed things were no longer awkward between them. Or that God forbid he still had some lingering feelings with her. But she didn't find him awkwardly standing there as she expected. He had his back turned to them and was arguing with the driver of the motorcycle. Rafael's tall and broad frame blocked the other person from her view.   
  
She could tell the argument was intense by the way his back was tensed, the clenched fist. She wondered what was all that about. She decided to wait it out and see what it was all about.   
  
Turning her attention back to Kaleb and M.G and asking how their summer went. Kaleb told her about the music he was producing, his internship in Atlanta for a couple of weeks. He promised he'd show her and tell her more in depth later. M.G mentioned traveling to different conferences and speaking engagements with his family, for his dad's campaign. Before she could start her own summarized version of her summer Rafael came up to join them.   
  
"Hey Hope good to see you." He engulfed her in his patent bear hug. She was surprised, she found herself returning it and leaning into the warmth of his embrace.   
  
Before everything got so messy they were close. She'd missed that special intimacy they had. So she returned it whole heartedly. As they pulled away she mentally prepared herself for that first eye contact. Praying that he didn't still look at her like she was the only thing his happiness was tethered to.   
  
Breath held in anticipation, light blue met dark brown and nothing. There was nothing there, between them. She couldn't find a hint of that look he used to have when he looked at her. She let out the breath she was holding in relief.   
  
"It's good to see you to Raf." She said sincerely. It was good seeing the closest thing she had to a brother she'd ever known and not his best impression of a love sick Jacob Black.   
  
"How was your summer?" She followed up, wanting to know how he'd been.   
  
"It's been good, I guess you-"   
  
"You guess?! My boy is being modest he's been having a great summer." Kaleb interrupted, wiggling his eyebrows. M.G nodded along to the hype.   
  
Hope watched as Rafael ducked his head smiling big. She doesn't know if it's the trick of the sunlight, but she could've sworn she saw him blush slightly. He seemed happy and it warmed her heart.   
  
"Yea, it's been great." He agreed. "There's someone you have to meet - make that two." He tacked on the latter as he was interrupted by a throat clearing.  
  
Hope moved her attention to a girl about her height she hadn't noticed standing next to Rafael. She was dressed in ripped skinny jeans, flannel around her waist and leather jacket on her shoulders. Chaotic energy her ensemble exuded aside, her face was definitely the most striking thing about her. Framed by pink tinted tips, with an intense set of eyes and glossed lips. Hope couldn't help but admire how beautiful the girl was. She mentally gave Rafael an atta boy pat.   
  
"Hope this is Toni my new foster sister." Rafael introduced the other girl- Toni, which was the equivalent of one of those record scratch through Hope's mind.   
  
"Hey, I'm Hope." She greeted.  
  
"Toni." The girl replied offering her a small, but warm smile.   
  
Hope was intrigued by her. Her being in foster care, explained the calculating intensity she regarded her surroundings with. It's something a lot of foster kids seemed to do. It also added another layer of mystery to the new girl. Hope wondered what her story was.   
  
"So how are you liking Mystic Falls so far?" Hope asked trying to engage her in competition.   
  
"Can't really complain." Toni gave a noncommittal shrug.   
  
"Did someone say avengers assemble?" Jed interrupted, and proceeded to insert himself at the center of the group. Causing a few groans of annoyance.   
  
"You have never been apart of the squad, Jed." M.G said rolling his eyes.   
  
"Yes but y'all are short a brooding Hawkeye so I'm volunteering." He explained.   
  
While the boys melted into playful arguing on whether Jed could join or not, Hope became consciously aware of Landon not being there. It was a routine, they always used to meet up as a group on the first day. Last year the first time as a couple and now he wasn't present at all.   
  
Wasn't she supposed to be more hurt? More aware of his absence at the very least? Like she definitely missed her friend, but she felt unmoved by the absence of what she thought was her first love. Was Lizzie right in what she had said?   
  
The bell rang signaling that it was time for them to head to the auditorium. Hope mentally prepared herself for the hour of boredom that was about to follow. She watched as Penelope finally detached herself from Davina's lips. She looked around as if she was in search of someone. Hope knew instantly she was trying to see if she'd caught the attention of one particular Saltzman. Which thankfully neither caught a glimpse of Josie.   
  
"You're playing with fire." She told Penelope as she came to grab her and Davina's bags.   
  
"Don't know what you're talking about." Was all she said refusing to make eye contact.   
  
Hope shook her head. Walking slightly behind the rest of the group as they made their way to the school's entrance. She stared at the colorful welcome to the new year banner hanging under the Salvatore name. It was far to colorful for the amount of dread she felt entering the doors.   
  
"It's going to be one hell of a year."   
\---  
This was definitely not how Josie had planned on spending her morning. She wanted to curl up in the library in her little spot and read a good book. Yet here she was listening to Lizzie and Cheryl having a dramatic meltdown.   
  
She had spaced out once Cheryl's voice got pitchy and she started using French words to express her feelings over the 'énorme injustice' their dad did. Like couldn't she just use the word huge?   
  
After they got done complaining and catching up over their summer, with Lizzie lying about them going to Europe for the summer. They inevitably came to the agreement that Lizzie would remain the unofficial cheer co-captain, until she could sway their dad into lifting his 'punishment'. They proceeded to breakdown various aspects related to cheerleading and that was when Josie checked out completely, until the bell rang signaling the start of the assembly.   
  
They made their way to the auditorium. Josie watched on as fresh faced freshmen looked around in excitement, she saw some familiar faces laughing and happy. She observed the crowd entering the auditorium until her eyes fell on Penelope head thrown back in laughter. Eyes shining. Josie felt her heart stutter slightly.   
  
It was the first time seeing Penelope since the break up and Josie was happy to see her laughing. Far better than the pleading tear stained expression she had the last time she saw her. It just hurt that she wasn't a part of her happiness anymore. Her eyes scanned the rest of th shorter brunette that she could see.   
  
Her complexion as flawless as ever. Jawline seemed a little more defined and her hair definitely an inch longer, but still as thick and vibrant as always. Josie felt her fingers itch wishing she could still let her fingers wander aimlessly through it. Penelope turned her smile to another girl beside her. Josie couldn't make out a who it was from where she stood, she still felt unnaturally jealous that she wasn't the one on the receiving end of her smile.  
  
Her attention diverted to the girl beside Penelope. She couldn't make out much outside her chestnut colored hair, because her face was turned to the opposite direction of Josie's. Probably smiling brightly at Penelope, Josie deduced bitterly.   
  
Something caught Josie's eyes and snatched the breath out of her chest. She felt like she couldn't get any air back in. Her chest was tight, she felt the sting of hot tears forming. She needed to get out the hallway, away from what she was seeing.   
  
She told Lizzie she was going to the bathroom. And booked it out of that hallway way so fast, she didn't hear Lizzie calling after her.  
\---  
_Sometime during the 6th grade._  
  
_Josie was seated next to Penelope on the bus on their way back to school, after an exciting field trip. Josie was hyper aware of how close her crush was seated next to her. Penelope's hand laying mere inches away from hers. She wanted to reach out and hold it so bad. It was on her mind since last week, when Lizzie asked her how they held hands._  
  
_"Do you and Penelope do waffles or pancakes?" Lizzie asked her while she was reading one of her teen magazines._  
  
_"Do we what?" Josie asked confused._  
  
_"When you hold hands do you pancake or waffle?"_  
  
_"-uh we haven't -"_  
  
_"It's normal for a couple not to find their ideal hand holding style according to the article..-" Lizzie explained causing Josie more confusion and a deeper blush to creep across her face._  
  
_"What do you mean couple, we haven't even held hands yet."_  
  
_Lizzie sat up immediately looking at her sister shocked. "I assumed you guys already did."_  
  
_"I would've told you if we did." Josie said in a small voice._  
  
_"OMG. This is so exciting." Lizzie squealed as she moved to sit with Josie on her bed. "Do you think Penelope would be a pancake-r or waffle-r ?"_  
  
_"I really don't know what any of that means." Lizzie rolled her eyes dramatically with an equally dramatic sigh. Which earned her a glare from Josie. Lizzie ignored it, and proceeded to tell her and show her the different hand holding methods._  
  
_So for the past week Josie had been, slightly obsessively thinking about what was Penelope's preferred way to hold hands. And she was definitely obsessing over how it would feel to hold Penelope's hand. However that's as far as it went, she couldn't actually bring herself to hold it. So she'd spend a weird amount of time just staring at them. Penelope had definitely noticed._  
  
_"Is something wrong with my hand JoJo?" Penelope asked, pulling Josie from her trance._  
  
_Josie instantly felt the blush creep across her cheeks. She'd been caught and now Penelope probably thought she was some freak. She needed to stop that from happening, so she blurted the first thing that came to mind._  
  
_"Are you a pancake-r or waffle-r?" Judging by the confused look on Penelope's face she'd probably made it worse for herself._  
  
_"Like for breakfast..?"_  
  
_"No like how do you like holding hands..?" At this point Josie's tips of her ears were hot and she wanted to melt into the seat._  
  
_"I don't know what that means, show me?" Penelope asked._  
  
_Josie's palms instantly started sweating and she became so nervous she felt her stomach churning. She reached out after a beat hand shaking slightly hoping Penelope wouldn't notice. Josie held Penelope's hand, who shifted to accommodate hers. They held hands palms flat against eachother._  
  
_"This is the uh-pancake way. And this is the waffle..way."_  
  
_Josie shifted her hand to lay horizontally over Penelope's and interlace their fingers together. In that moment Josie felt something she couldn't quite explain, but it felt like putting the last piece of a 3000 piece puzzle in it's place. Just a 100 times more intense._  
  
_"So..did you just ask me so you could hold my hand?" Penelope teased lightly. Which made Josie pull her hand away instantly._  
  
_"No..no I just wanted to know how you liked your hand to be held.."_  
  
_"So you'd know how to hold my hand?"_  
  
_"I..guess." Josie mumbled finding a loose thread to focus and not meeting Penelope eyes._  
  
_Penelope smiled brightly at Josie's shy behavior. She reached out for Josie's hand and interlaced their fingers._  
  
_"I'm happy to report I'm a waffle kind of girl but only for you. It makes me feel closer to you." Penelope whispered to Josie, a little shyer than her usual bravado. She caressed the back of Josie's hand soothingly with her thumb._  
  
_Josie smiled brightly, still red as ever, and gave Penelope's hand a comforting squeeze. They sat in a comfortable, both still shy, silence the rest of the way back to school not breaking their hold on each other's hands._  
  
_Lizzie had offered her a thumbs up when they got off the bus still holding hands, waffling, she attacked Josie for information as soon as they were home._  
  
_That was their first innocent step forward out of the friendzone. And it became a staple of their relationship going forward. If you saw the pair together 9.5/10 you'd find them with their fingers interlaced. Even when they were arguing. It was their thing._  
\---  
At least it used to be their thing. Josie couldn't get the image of Penelope's fingers interlaced with someone else's out of her mind. It was like it was seered into her brain and was just being replayed on a continuous loop. It just drove the point home that Penelope was no longer hers. And it was all her fault.   
  
For the first time Josie let her tears spill for the girl she pushed away. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it thanks for reading. Let me know what you think and next chapter will be lizzie centric

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading let me know what you think.


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